


Words Left Unspoken

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/F, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 10:47:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11942508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Words Left Unspoken

Elle left without a word. She only spoke to Hotch - apparently telling him that she couldn’t do this job anymore. Something about knowing now why Hotch never really smiled anymore.

Granted, this job could take a lot out of you, but everyone on the team knew there was another unspoken reason that she left. There wasn’t a doubt in your mind she had killed that man, but considering she shouldn’t have been out in the field to begin with, and the fact that he walked on a technicality, not because he wasn’t guilty, made you feel like you were being pulled in two different directions. On the one hand, you were a law enforcement agent, bound to uphold the law to the best of your ability. But as a woman and someone truly for justice and not just order, it was difficult to truly fault her for what she’d done. The legal and moral sides of you were conflicted about what had happened - something you still struggled with till this day.

Elle wasn’t just one of your best friends, there had been something else there - something else unspoken that never had the chance because she walked out without saying a word, so while being saddened and confused by her choice to step outside the law and angry at her leaving without saying anything, it took you a while to recover after she left.

While she had left, you took a week off after asking Hotch for permission. You told him that Elle leaving had hurt because you were so close and he told you to take your time. After a while though, her face fainted into a positive memory that you’d hold dear instead of constantly haunting your immediate field of vision. Upon your return to work, you came to the conclusion that on a professional level you couldn’t agree with what Elle had done, but on a personal level, you still saw her as the amazing person she always was.

Her leaving without telling you was still a sore spot. More often that not, you tried not to dwell on it; it was too hard to dissect why she wouldn’t tell her best friend near lover that she was not only leaving her job, but essentially leaving her life behind. 

More than five years had passed since she left. Emily was now a permanent fixture on the team and she was one of your best friends. Most of the team mentioned Elle every now and again, particularly Spencer, who you felt always had a special relationship with her, but she was always on your mind. Perched up against a group picture of the current BAU, stood a picture of you and Elle together.

Fairly frequently, you found yourself daydreaming that you might cross paths with her again. You always, always wondered where she was and if she was happy. There was no doubt that Garcia could track her down for you, but you never wanted to pry into her life like that, so you resisted. 

All you could do was go on and hope she was happy - that was truly all you ever wanted anyway.

—–

Later that week you found yourself in a mood - the kind of forlorn and depressing mood that was best served by brooding by yourself at the window of your local cafe, so that’s where you went, ordering cup of coffee and a chocolate chip muffin before sitting down at a table. You had been in a funk about Elle all week. Though it had been more than five years, you still had bouts of time where you missed her more than others, and this week had been one of those times. 

With your book open, you began to sip at your iced coffee and get lost in another world. After about an hour, you thought you felt eyes on you, so you lifted your head up - and that’s when you saw her. All the anger and sadness had faded away upon seeing her again. “Elle,” you whispered. 

“Hi, Y/N,” she said, a small smile pricking the corners of her lips as she sat in the chair across from you. “H-How are you?”

Shrugging, you picked up your coffee and took another sip; it was a nervous habit you couldn’t seem to shake. “I’m okay. Working a lot, but you know, otherwise okay. W-what about you?” Despite the shakiness of your voice, you hadn’t felt so comfortable in years. 

Elle must’ve thought that you were going to immediately be angry (and you still were to some degree), because as soon as you asked her how she was, she went into a long spiel about how she was working with victims of sex crimes at a local clinic after having served with the Peace Corps for quite a few years. You asked her if she wanted a coffee or anything, specifically if she still wanted her Americano coffee, large, with a splash of half and half and one packet of sugar, and when she said yes you bought it for her and sat back down, ready to catch up. 

For hours, the two of you sat near the window as the clouds passed overhead, talking about everything from the team (not work, but how the team was doing) to your families, to whether your favorite like movies and colors had changed. Nothing had - everything was still familiar. When there was a lull in the conversation, you reached across the table and placed your hand on top of hers. That spark was still there. “I’ve missed you,” you finally allowed yourself to say.

“I’ve missed you, too,” she said softly. “I-I’m s-sorry I left without saying anything to anyone, especially you.”

“Why did you?” The question was so softly spoken it was barely audible. 

Elle sighed deeply and pressed her chin into the palm of her hand. “It was partly because the weight of the job was just too much for me…”

“And the other part?”

“I think you know the other reason,” she said. There was regret in her eyes, but not for that man, more for the circumstances and the system that let him off in the first place. “I didn’t want to judgement from everyone. Plus, the longer I stuck around the more I knew Hotch would be compelled to investigate. Damn his staunch moral compass.” A hollow laugh left her as she met your eyes again. She must’ve been able to see the hurt so deeply bound within you. “I’m sorry.”

“You could’ve told me you were leaving at least,” you said, the tears stinging the corner of your eye. “You think I don’t understand why you did what you did? Professionally, I can’t agree with you, but personally…that’s a different story. Even if you had decided to leave anyway, at least I would have know, at least maybe we…” You let that thought fly away.

Swallowing hard, Elle squeezed your hand tighter and entwined her fingers in yours. “I know. I made mistakes after a difficult time in my life and I know I hurt people in the process. Is there a chance we could get to know each other again?”

“I’d like that,” you replied. “After all this time, I feel like we still get along like we used to. If we could even have the hope of getting back there, I’d be willing to work to get there if you are.”

“I am,” she said with a smile.


End file.
